My Dog is a Racist

They say the first step towards solving a problem is acknowledging that it exists. It is with a heavy heart that I must admit that my darling dog Mowgli, the sweetest angel in canine form, is deeply prejudiced against certain fellow canines.

Mowgli has a rabid and (to my mind) irrational prejudice against boxers, bulldogs, and pugs of all shapes and sizes. If the dog in question has a squishy face and a flat nose, that dog must be the devil and must be squashed instantly. He has weighed the flat nosed dogs and found them wanting. He judges the dog, not by the content of its character, but by the squishiness of its face. Mowgli is racist, or is breedist perhaps the more appropriate word? Either ways, as a flaming liberal, it is acutely embarrassing to have to acknowledge this character flaw in a beloved family member.

It is an irrefutable truth that the closeness of a relationship determines the enormity of the offense. A strangers’ failings are because the dog in question is abhorrent and a blight on society. If dogs close to you exhibit the same characteristics, they are, of course, a victim of circumstances. Maybe, as a puppy, Mowgli was attacked by a raving herd of flat nosed bullies. Perhaps an ill-intentioned Boxer stole his bouncy ball, or an evil French bulldog, bent on unleashing terror, nipped at his feet.

Amongst my many failings, is an inability to speak dog. What wouldn’t I give to be able to talk to Mowgli, understand what his fear are when it comes to the nasally-challenged, get to root of the problem! Perhaps I could get Mowgli to look at each individual squishy-face that crosses his path as an individual canine, with hopes and dreams similar to his own. Perhaps Mowgli would be able to see the dog and not the breed, maybe Mowgli would learn not to put the faults and misdeeds of a few Boxers on the shoulders of every member of the group.

If only I could speak canine! That’s the only thing stopping me from being able to understand where Mowgli comes from, and being able to explain my point of view- the lack of a common language. Look at us humans, as long as we speak the same language, there are no problems at all in understanding where we come from, in working out our fears, in accepting fellow humans as human. If only we did all speak the same language!